Thursday, November 22, 2007

OFF, OFF Damned Beast


There's a local product with neem and citronella that smells nice. There's off and deet and then there is a better solution. I have a lover that mosquitos love. I never get to far from him when the sun goes down and the beast start to swarm. Even if we have a knock down drag out cat fight I wait till he falls asleep in then I crawl into bed. If he's been really mean then I'll pull off the covers. The mosquitoes much prefer him to me.

It helps not to sweat or emit carbon dioxide as that's the first thing they zoom in on. It also helps if you don't were a Pucci or Versace swimsuit as they have good eyesight. Try camouflage in the jungle and dress in the same color as the bedsheets at night. If you find that this does not work and you still attract more mosquitoes than your friends and lover(s) then try this trick. When they are not looking spray thier bodies or clothing with lactic acid. Mosquitoes loves them some lactic acid.


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, this is hilarious. Except I'm the one they prefer (no, silly reader, not John's lover er.. partner -- a different couple we are). Keep writing!